Plainfield, NJ
It was quite an adjustment to leave Paris in 1988. I didn’t really want to come back to the United States. George and I ended up in Plainfield, NJ, what I call our Contradictory City. I wanted to be there, but I didn’t want to be there. I had my dream job with Al-Anon in New York City which felt like getting an Academy Award. I was so proud of what I achieved.
Plainfield had been a popular place for people working on Wall Street to have summer homes. They were beautiful homes known for their architecture. Then during the late 1960’s there were riots. Because of that, the million dollar houses couldn’t be sold. The riots, machine guns, military presence, and looting scared the wealthy white people out of Plainfield. It was called White Flight. Our house was in a neighborhood made up of Latinos, Blacks, and Whites. I was so happy about this. Because we had lived in London and Paris, we were used to people from different cultures: Germans, Nigerians, Indians, and so on. I believed in and liked the politics of race, religion, and cultural inclusion.
We had fun restoring and renovating our Victorian house. We added one huge dining room and a three-sided garage. George and I were used to having close neighbors and liked the way Londoners rented and shared their homes. So in our new home we lived on the first floor of the house and rented out the second and third floors.
My sister, her husband, and their three sons, relatives from my fathers’s side of the family, and my mother’s brother, Joe and his wife aunt Mary, all lived in North Plainfield where I grew up. My parents were living in Florida. The eight years we lived in Plainfield provided me the time to get to know my family better. It made up for all the time I felt left out. And I was proud to share my home with them. It was the right time for me to make amends. There’s a right time and place to make my physical amends and this was it for me. Step Nine says: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
It was also very difficult to live in Plainfield. I was away a lot, taking the train into NYC to work every day at the Al-Anon WSO, and then traveling for Alateen and Al-Anon. I made the most of it. It fulfilled my needs and was a wonderful opportunity. I gained a lot of satisfaction living there and then gained the satisfaction of moving away. I know when to say hello to something and when to say goodbye.
#asbonnieseesit
#willingtobecomereal